Seize the day to dance: A heartfelt reminder & memorial to Elisheva

A memorial and heartfelt reminder to take face your fears and to follow your dreams.

Some of you may know that a well-known belly dancer has recently passed. Elisheva of Bellyqueen will not be gracing the stage in this world any more.

I am pretty shocked because it was only a year and a few days ago that I was dancing in the Perth show of Journey along the Silk road with her. Thus my recent Facebook feed has been full of those memory reminders from a year ago featuring her and the other women that made it such a memorable experience and I have been happily reminiscing.

After the silk road perth

Such a fun person to be around! I wish my hand was steadier for this selfie but she had me giggling!

To then see Kaeshi, Irina, Maki and Nathalie posting memorials just seems bizarre! How can it be that one so vibrant is no longer with us any more?

I learnt so much by participating in that show but I particularly learnt a lot from Ellie. She drilled me in her sword dance and I took a fantastic workshop on choreography theory. Several concepts from which I have been incorporating into my own pieces and dance. Only last Friday I was thinking of her while participating in a Biodanza class. I was again playing with the feeling of leading from different parts of the body – being aware more consciously of where the energy starts – in my own improvisation.

Journey along the silk road after party

Journey along the silk road after party, Elisheva and I at the back.

To be honest, I was not even familiar with Elisheva’s work before the show, but sometimes someone crosses your path for a brief time (in this case 2 weeks) and makes a profound impact. She was a great teacher and a very friendly and caring woman who danced with great feeling.

Signing up and sending in audition videos for the show was utterly terrifying for me. I had to face some deep-seated beliefs.

Some of you may know that I have had to face many auto-immune issues, and at one point was so ill I couldn’t walk more than a block (and that was with assistance). When you have been that ill and ill for a prolonged period of time; even when you work so hard on your health and make great gains; it is hard to think of yourself as truly vital. I was so scared I would not physically be able to keep up, that my body would revert to all the issues of the past, that I would become an object of pity and waste everyone’s time.

I was also scared that I would not be able to keep up with the last-minute choreography changes that are often common in such productions. Learning choreography has always been a challenge for me and again, even though I made great gains and learnt so many way to improve on it (hence the ebooklet I wrote). I was still fearful I wouldn’t adjust in time.

Fear and anxiety are crazy things, they can make simple tasks difficult and difficult ones seem insurmountable. Yet I really wanted to try out, so I faced all those fears and went ahead. If I hadn’t gone ahead, I would not have met Elisheva and the opportunity to learn from her in person would have passed for this life time.dance on this earth

So I am sharing this story to express my grief that one so young has died, but I am also sharing this so that anyone that is standing before a big opportunity in hesitation and needs a bit of a nudge of encouragement to go ahead, does so.

This is the hint, the sign you were wanting

– if there is something you have always wanted to do but haven’t, take the plunge!

 

 

In memory of Elisheva ❤

Breast implants – will they augment your dance career?

Chances are that when you think of belly dance you think of busty women in sparkly costumes. While any women, of any shape or size, can become a bellydancer, having an ample bosom can be a desirable quantity in booking gigs.

On the flip side, I know of some very successful dancers that are not slim, young or particularly busty. When making the decision to get implants for your career you must think realistically if it is simply a matter of breasts that is stopping your progression or fame. Maybe it is simply a matter of marketing or targeting the wrong geographical area.

You may be considering implants anyway and any possibly flow on benefits to your dance are just a bonus. This article is to outline some potential benefits, but mostly covers the very real risks that are rarely talked about and are particularly pertinent for dancers.

Busty belly dancer

This magnificent cleavage is all natural and not mine!

Take a good look at where you are wanting to perform and think about if implants are what is needed. Sometimes padding can be enough and their are many tricks that can increase the illusion of bustiness.

Ok, that being said, big breasts are a commodity in Middle Eastern shows. From my own travels, it seems a super slim, young physique with unnaturally large breasts seems to be popular in Turkey. Egypt seems to have more variety in body shapes of dancers but they all are busty. An excellent blog about body expectations of dancers throughout the middle east by dancers that live and work there can be found at kisses from kairo.

If teaching is likely to be your main income you may even find that if you surgically alter yourself you may get less students. 

Particularly for beginner classes.

I have noticed a trend that more ordinary looking teachers often pull more dance students than the glamorous and more accomplished ones (unless they are famous).

Why? On interviewing several students from different schools about this, they have said that the teacher made them feel like it was possible for them to become a dancer too. It was their imperfection that was the attraction because it made potential students feel that the dance was achievable and not solely in the domain of slim, young and gorgeous.

(I should also note here, that sometimes slim, young and gorgeous potential students have no idea that they are any of those things due poor self esteem).

 

 However for some jobs being busty can certainly help and if you are hoping for a professional career touring and dancing in the middle east, this asset can make a difference.

 

Make sure that it is the boobs you need though.

Book into an experienced dancer that has done the job you are aiming for and make sure that your dance technique is truly top notch. There is no point getting yourself cut up and paying the cash, only to find no one will hire you because your dancing stinks.

Also be realistic about your health, motivation and stamina. There are a lot of gorgeous, talented dancers out there that don’t make a liveable wage out of dancing.

Consider the finances

Add these together:

Loss of income through time off dancing: According to plastic surgeon Jed horowitz, Implants will take at least 3 weeks away from your practice and performing if you heal fast. It takes 6 weeks for 80% of the muscle to heal. However another plastic surgeon, Jason Wendel mentions pain and muscle spasms can last 6 months to a year.

3 (or 6) weeks pay ……………..

Costumes: replacement or alteration of your costumes. ………………

Cost of surgery and follow ups. ………………..

TOTAL ………………..

Now try and guess how much extra money you expect to earn in the next 10 years from having the surgery and minus the costs off that figure.

Do you actually come out in front financially? It is hard to put a price on the adventure and fun of dancing in foreign countries but find out a ball park figure of those doing the same thing you are intending on doing.

If you don’t come out financially ahead then you must become clear that you are not doing this for work but are doing it for your own reasons.  Which is OK too but now you know you are not doing it as a career move.

“If you absolutely must get implants, then according to breast implant expert Dr. Susan Kolb, the safest type is the saline implant that has a smooth surface and does not have a valve. “

If it does look like you will make more money then also consider the …

HIDDEN COSTS  

Cost of ongoing surgery to replace implants and lift. This happens approximately every 10 years to minimise leaking and maintain shape. This is true even of the implants that people are told last a lifetime. If you choose not to continue getting implants you still have to pay to have them removed.

Risks

Not dance impacting

*May also result in decreased sensation in the breast.

*Interference with breastfeeding.

“evidence has begun to accumulate that children born after a woman has had these devices implanted are likely to be in poor health…with lymphocyte sensitization indices about half the maternal levels, indicating an impaired immune system” Dr Susan Kolb (plastic surgeon) . If you intend on being a mummy dancer then having constantly sick kids is really big limitation apart from being heartbreaking.

*capsular contracture

A thick scar that normally forms around the implant, called a capsule, can become very hard and may result in pain and possible altered appearance of the breast. The chances that these problems will occur increase with the age of the implant. (see ‘hidden costs’)

Dance impacting

Short term

*Risks include bleeding, infection, reaction to anesthesia, or unexpected scarring.

*The implant itself can rupture and leak, or become displaced.

Yes, may of the risks are considered rare but they do happen as in the case of a Sydney girl whose lung collapsed last due to surgery or several others that went in cardiac arrest.

Long term

* Death.  That totally wrecks your dance career!

*A.S.I.A   “ Autoimmune / Inflammatory Syndrome induced by Adjuvants”

Auto immune diseases are growing more common among women. Having had such issues myself (from a different cause) I was horrified to discover that plastic surgery can cause immunity problems, especially since I know so many people that have had it done. This only effects a small number of surgery patients however the true numbers are not known as most surgeons don’t even know about this phenomena and the patients may not realise the cause of their suffering, as average onset of symptoms is 4.5yrs after the implants or injections. The truth is auto immune diseases will be a bigger problem for your career than lack of boobage. If you can’t get out of bed in the morning, you just can’t be a professional dancer. I do know of several dancers that maintain modest dance schools while dealing with autoimmune diseases but they are very limited energy wise and must pace themselves.

*Silicon based implants are more likely to cause problems it seems. Research seems inconclusive but there have been scientific papers published showing that those with implants have increased risk of brain and respiratory cancers and suicide. , systemic lupus erythematosus, Sjogren’s syndrome and  scleroderma. A 2015 paper reviewed studies from 1961 to 2014 and confirmed the 2-3 times increased suicide risk that breast implants are associated with. While other cosmetic fillers are also associated with complications such as joint pain and lung problems .

 

By writing this article I am in no way trying to shame anyone that has made the decision to go ahead and get implants. I am merely trying to highlight an element of risk that is rarely, if ever, spoken about when I hear women talking about cosmetic surgery. Some women are happy with their choices and have noticed no side effects at all. I write this because as a female that is regularly online, I am bombarded with ads telling me to have ‘surgery holidays’ or what government rebates I can get on cosmetic surgery. Advertising designed to make me feel bad about myself and offer up their product as a safe fix for all my apparent flaws. I am sure I am not the only one getting this material sent their way and dancers , needing to be aware of their appearance, are more likely to be impacted. Unlike when implants first became mainstream, we rarely get the side-effects and issues talked about in the media any more.

In all things, I believe women need to have the full details so they can make an informed and measured choice.  Whatever you choose dear reader, please take care of yourselves and know I love you all, busty or small, natural or augmented.

❤ Jade

Stay tuned for some future articles on how to look bustier (without surgery).

Insiders view of belly dance!

Just a little bit of belly dance related humour for you.

Check out these dancers!

I know i have said many times that sizes, age, colour etc do not matter to your dancing ability and we are all beautiful however I do think these dancers are a little bit too slim – LOL 😉

What do you think? How did the skeletons go? Feel free to comment below.

Don’t forget to check out the articles categories to the right to find more belly dance related stuff – including some silly stuff in the humour category and on the kids and fun page there are jokes and puzzles for your enjoyment.

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